My Shinigami Bodyguard
by the-long-lost-strawberry
Summary: Vice-Captain Ichigo suspects Rukia Kuchiki, a normal High school student, of having the Hogyoku. To make sure he's right he poses as a classmate...and finds himself falling for the midget. Too bad his mission is to kill whoever has the Hogyoku.IchiRuki AU
1. The Midget and the Death Berry

Disclaimer: Bleach isn't mine –pouts-

A/N: Hey there I hope It's good ' those reading my other story don't worry I'll still update that one…I hope LOl XD I forgot how I got this idea but it just popped in my mind around 2 weeks ago and I couldn't get it out of my head so I'm writing it :P Don't know if you guy's will like it but if you don't I can always delete it :/ Haha well anyway onto the story enough with my blah blahs:D

_**My **__**Shinigami**__** Bodyguard**_

**Chapter 1: ****The Midget and the Death Berry **

He leapt from one building to the next trying to detect any strong spiritual pressure, only to sigh in frustration. For one thing, Vice-Captain Kurosaki of the 6th Division was lousy at detecting riatsu, which made everyone wonder in the meeting if their general was in his right mind to send him of all people. Hell, he was even sure that the novices at the Soul Academy were better experienced in that field than he. Second, why did Yamamoto have to send a _Vice-Captain_ to handle such a simple task? He was instructed to search for a human with the highest spiritual energy since they suspected that Urahara's forsaken invention, the Hougyoku, lay inside of them. Apparently the mission was extremely important if a high ranking officer such as himself was in search for a mere human.

Tired of just jumping on boring skyscrapers Ichigo leapt down into the busy city streets with ease. His mind drifted from his assignment when he looked at his surroundings. Excitement bubbled inside of him as he saw many human inventions that were simply mind boggling. He walked over to a pole that had a picture of a walking person and when he blinked it turned to a red hand! He blinked again wondering if that's what made it change. His frown deepened when it didn't. Too enraptured with the "magic pole", he failed to notice a short raven haired girl in a grey school uniform watching him oddly, inspecting his old fashion clothing. The orange haired man finally gave up and turned to cross the street toward the big box that read "Mountain Dew."

"Hmmm, this 'Mountain Dew' person must be important to have their name located in almost every corner…," Realization hit the Strawberry, "Is he the one that Soul Society wants me to track?!" Or maybe not. However, his train of thoughts came to a halt when he heard a girl yell…at him?

"Oi stupid carrot top don't you see the light says not to cross?! You'll get killed!" Brushing aside her concern, since he was dead anyway, he looked around and then pointed to himself unsurely.

"Are you…talking to me?" He gaped when she actually responded his question.

"Well who else would I be talking to you're the only one moronic enough to be in the middle of the street!" Before he could even conjure a reply she yanked his pointing hand hoisting his tall body to the previous sidewalk he was on. For a girl that barley reached his chest she was incredibly strong he noted. With a final attempt to find reason in things he asked still in disbelief.

"So….you can see me, right?" He heard her scoff followed by a roll of her violet eyes.

"Of course I can, it's kind of hard to miss that weird get up you're wearing," Ichigo glared at her questioningly as he too stared down at his Hukkahusho.

"There something wrong with my clothes Shrimp? Besides it's better than that slut costume you're wearing," He pointed out disgustingly. No woman in Soul Society that he noticed ever wore anything above the knee, even their Kimonos that are worn at home reach their calves. So it was a surprise that this little girl was wearing such a vulgar outfit. A nonexistent amount of pink reached his cheeks when he took note of her creamy thighs.

"SLUT?!" She echoed furiously," haven't you ever seen a school uniform before?!" too angered by his insult to her clothing that she let the one directed to her height slide. From that point Ichigo decided to ignore her since he obviously had a mission to attend to. However, his lips titled upward in a small smirk. The girl was feisty he gave her that much, and he enjoyed any type of verbal fights as well as mental ones. He was positive she can provide anyone of those.

"Look I love to stay and chat but I think it's wise that I leave since you're freaking out about half of the town already by screaming at no one," Rukia raised an eyebrow in confusion and was about to ask what he meant when she caught glimpse of the crowd gathering around her. She blushed in embarrassment when reality hit her. The damn orange haired fuckwad was a ghost. He could have mentioned that sooner! As if reading her mind he chuckled,

"Now where's the fun in telling you I'm a spirit? Besides I think I dropped enough hints when I asked you if you can see me. Not my fault your slow half-pint," Ichigo's smirk widened when he saw her mouth the words, "I'll kill you," with her eyes already shooting fire at his head.

"Sorry to break it to ya babe, but I'm already dead if you didn't catch that earlier," He saw her eyes light up with a murderous intent when she heard his new nickname to her. Screw the people that were around her they already thought she was insane anyway; this bastard is getting what he deserves!

"You prick don't you ever call me that again!" She fumed when he continued to walk away from her to the soda machine. Taking off her right shoe she chucked it square on his head making him fall face first on the cement. Ichigo rubbed his bleeding nose. If his goat chinned father were ever to see his son getting beat by a girl's shoe he'll never pass down the Captain rank onto him. Not only that, he'll also beg him for grandbabies with the woman who kicked his ass, and looking back at the pipsqueak, that will NEVER happen! Picking up her tiny shoe he threw it so high up that it broke into a 13th story window of a bank. Rukia groaned in frustration as she deemed her shoe forever lost thanks to the strawberry. The remaining audience only stared in disbelief with mouths wide open at the sight of a flying shoe with no visible entity that extracted force onto it. Giving a final look to the violet eyed girl his obnoxious smirk returned as he dusted his hands in self congratulation of a job well done.

"See ya dumpy," he called off with a wave and shun-poed away from her sight. Rukia meanwhile silently fumed. Not only is she missing her right shoe (it wouldn't be so bad if it didn't rain the day before and puddles were still around every other corner) but that damn bastard had the gall to call her SHORT and FAT! Her large eyes slowly shifted to her nonexistent belly and poked it. Her lips tugged downward in a frown. Great now she was in a foul mood, she was sure not even a drawing her Chappy masterpieces can cheer her up now. With a humph The teen girl stalked over to school not caring that she only had a shoe on. At the same time she swore to herself that if she ever saw that prick again she'll make his life a living hell.

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TBC………

A/N: So short I know but it's just a prologue sort of thing. Yep the real story begins to unwind next chapter so tell me what you think of it so far. Good? Bad? Delete? Tell tell! LOL :D


	2. Introductions are a Bitch

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo…who is an android that I created so it is mine!!! Bwahaah! –gets hit by a shoe- fine. me no own Bleach

A/N: YAY 8 reviews!! (dances around in happiness) Thank you so much! Glad you guys like it for a while I thought it sort of sucked...

**babbiikhlxx3**: You're my first reviewer yay! –hugs you- XD thanks for the support and I hope I don't disappoint you this chapter

**Bella68**: Aw thanks you really know how to boost somebody's spirit you know that? I hope it does become one also

**mamoru-usa8** Eep! Sorry for the long wait! XO here it is!

**Chappi15**: Thanks! I'm so happy you liked it! And as for my writing I appreciate your positive comment, makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside :3 LOL

**Evanne**: I updated and I urge you to read more!..and review LOL :D

**Freshx**-ego inflates- flattery gets you everywhere. LOL XD and it's similarly switched but not quite…if that makes any sense at all :/ haha thanks for the review!

**Hyperactivesoccerchick**LOL love your enthusiasm it really cheers me up :D and yes I updated Bwaha! Finally!

**akirk85029:** Thank you! Well here's the next chapter hope you enjoy it!

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**Chapter 2: Introductions are a Bitch**

The Vice-Captain's mouth stretched to its max capacity as he let out a loud yawn. No one ever told him that this mission was going to be so boring! There were no hollows to fight let alone any spirits to perform a konso. Stifling yet another yawn he shook his head from side to side and opted to scratch the back of his neck instead. Was Soul Society even sure that the Hogyoku is in this town? Before the carrot top could question his mission any further a sickening howl resonated from his previous destination where he met the girl. Biting his lip he swore loudly and headed swiftly downtown. For some reason he felt that if something were to happen to that girl he would never forgive himself.

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The raven haired girl grabbed on to the nearest railing, giving her some sort of support as her wide violet eyes stared in horror at the beast before her. What the hell was that thing anyway?! She was just a block away from Karakura High when she heard loud footsteps behind her. Knuckles turned white and eyes closed shut, how desperatley she wished that she never turned around.

"You have such a tasty soul, mind if I have a bite?" The creature crudely laughed out menancinly as he neared closer to the petrified teen. Naturally, Rukia would have no problem coming up with an insult but honestly, who can blame her since that thing had TWO sets of teeth and claiming to eat her soul? Before she could even make a run for it a blur of orange caught the corner of her eye and a masculine voice boomedin her ears.

"How about you chew on this?" She couldn't even see when the mystery man struck the monster, but in a split second the hideous mask cracked in half from a clean cut. Rukia racked her brain for the owner of the voice, where had she heard it?

"Oi you alright there midget? You didn't get any stupider in the last fifteen minutes did you?" Whipping her neck to her right she was faced with the obnoxious citrus headed jerk. At least she wouldn't go insane wondering who the voice belonged to.

"Stupider isn't even a word, fool, but then again you can't expect much from someone who yells 'How about you chew on this," She jeered, "where the hell did you pick up a corny line like that? Power Rangers?" Ichigo's cheeks burned in embarrasment.

"Shut the hell up! Is that how you give thanks to someone who saved your ass?! At least I had enough common sense to use my legs instead of standing like a dumb rock!" Rukia's jaw slackened when she realized he had a point. Goddamn it. First time she ever lost an argument and it had to be this jerk who bested her. There was only one option left…a swift quick to shin and run like hell!

"OW!!! What the fuck!" The strawberry yelped when he felt a sharp pain on his lower leg. He brought his leg up so he could wrap his hands around the injured limb, hopping around like Rukia's robotic Chappy doll. She snickered at his pathetic state and made a mad dash toward Karakura High, hoping that Ukitake-sensei wouldn't notice her twenty minute tardiness. A small smirk tugged on her lips, revenge was sweet. However an odd command made her stop.

"_Binding S__pell the first! __Sai__!"_ Rukia turned at the declaration, completely baffled by his idiotic prattle.

"What the hell is he babbling abou-oof!" Her arms twisted uncomfortably behind her, as if she was under arrest, and her legs gave out under her, making her fall ungracefully on her bum. Her violet eyes flared in anger at the sight of his cocky strut and notorious smirk, his arms crossed across his chest in a better-than-though stance.

"Let me go you pompous ass! I need to get to school!" The girl growled, wriggling around in hopes that she will break free. Ichigo's smirk widened.

"Try all you like but you won't break free, after all my reiatsu is far above most captains," he bragged dismissively. She didn't know that he sucked at Kido and his ability in it was equivalent to a first year academy student to say the least, so it was perfectly acceptable to finally feel proud of skills –or lack thereof. His smirk diminished in a split second when he finally decided to ask questions.

"How is it that you can see me?" Rukia's struggling lessened slightly but didn't stop, her stubborn attitude refusing defeat.

"What kind of question is that? I have eyes don't I? Last time I checked I'm not blind," she snapped heatedly, with a hint of panting since her body was tiring from the constant movement. Who the hell was this guy and what did he want with her?! The citrus pursed his lips in irritation. Why does this damn midget have to be so difficult? He clenched his hands and crouched down to her level.

"Look Shrimp, just answer the question,"

"I just did!" She spat back, huffing. Rukia was never known as a patient person, unfortunately, neither was Ichigo. Several veins were already at the point of popping until one of Yamamoto's warnings rang through his head.

_"__Remember, if a human can see you, chances are th__at he __Hogyoku__ is inside of them,"_

Ichigo's amber eyes widened slightly at the realization. Staring down at the girl who had finally stopped her struggling, his frown lightened.

"No way she's too short," he blurted out his thoughts randomly. Rukia whipped her head up in complete fury, nostrils flaring and her tiny nose scrunched up in disgust. She has had just about enough height jokes.

"I am not short! You're just too tall you freak of nature! Now untie me this instant!" and once again she began to flop like a fish out of water.

"Che, fine. Quit your bitchin'," Rukia halted her actions and looked up to the Shinigami. Was she hallucinating or did the prick actually agree to let her go? Sounding cautious as possible she asked a simple,

"What?" Ichigo narrowed his eyes and flicked her forehead, hard.

"Having second thoughts now? I thought you wanted to be left go?" Rukia watched as a lecherous grin spread across his face.

"Don't tell me you liked being tied up? Never crossed my mind you were the kink-YOUCH!" Somehow Rukia managed to propel her remaining shoe to his nose. The fuming strawberry quickly tried to wipe away the blood onto his black robes that ran quickly down his chin. That Bitch can pack a punch!

"Look I was going to let you go but if you're going to abuse me I'll just leave you here until another hollow finds you and swallows you whole," She knew where this was heading, and there was no chance in hell that she was going to-

"Apologize," Rukia groaned inwardly, a scowl already pinching her face.

"No, you were the one being a pervert, you apologize!" Ichigo slumped his shoulders, oh how he dug his own grave for his ego on this one. Like hell he's going to apologize.

"Okay, nobody apologizes, I let you go, and we go on our merry way alright?" At this point he was irritated, annoyed and 99.9 percent sure she did NOT have the Hogyoku implanted inside of her. Rukia more than happily obliged, her head bobbing furiously in agreement.

"Good," After realizing the spell the jet black haired girl stood up and muttered,

"Jerk," and turned around, running to her school, hoping he won't change his mind. Ichigo stayed behind a few seconds longer, cinnamon eyes setting their gaze on a tiny brown shoe that lay discarded in the sidewalk. Just to make sure to quench that point one percent that she was not his target… his smirk returned.

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By the time she arrived she was thirty minutes late, and shoeless. Fortunately, Rukia always kept an extra pair in her locker. A Kuchiki must be prepared for everything, unless of course that something was an annoying bastard ghost who spends his entire afterlife tormenting vertically challenged indivuals, namely Kuchiki Rukia. Once putting on her shoes she walked tiredly to her homeroom and thanked God over and over again that Ukitake- Sensei has yet to arrive as well. It's common that he doesn't come to school because of his illness, and it's his long time friend Shiba-Sensei (Whom Rukia admits having a small crush on) who substitutes for him. However not even Mr.Shiba was present at the moment.

"Rukia!" Her busty friend, Rangiku, screeched the moment she opened the sliding door, catching everyone's attention.

"What took you so long?! Renji here was seconds away from going to your house to check up on you!" Rukia spared her blushing boyfriend a glance and smiled in return at his impish behavior.

"Ah, I was worried. What happened?" The girl in question sighed as she took her seat behind her best friend, Momo, who also stared at her with worry.

"It's just that I met this bastard-," she started until she heard a familiar voice.

"Son of a-," the corner of her eye caught orange, since when did somewhat sit to her right anyway? She turned only to be met with the fake smile of that Shinigami asshole. Her left eye twitched.

"You-,"

"Oh!" Momo interrupted, clasping her hand over her mouth.

"We forgot to tell you! A few minutes before you came he entered the class. He's new saying he's from…where was it again?" She asked turning toward the berry.

"Zangetsu…land," Rukia grimaced. How lame. And her friends believed him! She saw him turn to her and stretch out his palm in a greeting.

"Why hello Kuchiki-san, I hope to become good friends with you! My name is Kurosaki Ichigo," Rukia glared at his crappy acting, honestly why couldn't anyone see through it?! Violet eyes narrowed suspiciously at his hand and before she can at least try to act civilized he turned it over and she gasped. There on his large hand a small message was messily scribbled.

_Make a scene and I'll eat you alive, Shrimp._

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TBC………

A/N: Oh they really hate each other don't they? Well, we'll see how long that lasts ;) And yes Rukia and Renji are dating D: LOL but it's all part of my plan hehehe

Review please and tell me what you think :D


	3. Delivering the Good News

A/N: WOW! It's been forever since I updated this!! I hope you enjoy the chapter, I really have no excuse for not updating. :( I'm just terrible like that. Sorry.

**Chapter 3: Delivering the "Good" News**

Twitch.

Twitch.

"You should really get that check that out Kuchiki-san,"

Twitch, twitch, twitch.

Why couldn't anybody see this bastard was a fake? You could practically see the stretch lines form on his face with the makeshift smile. Hell, she was pretty damn sure he was incapable of smiling when she first met him with furrowed brows. Him smiling is like catching your parents do it, it was THAT wrong. Looking around she noticed her friends scrutinizing her stiff movements.

The silence that befell the group was deafening, and Rukia's friends wondered what was taking her so long to introduce herself. Said midget shifted her violet eyes from his hand to his stupid cocky face (which she proudly hit with her now lost shoe), and decided it was best to act as if nothing ever happened. Besides, who was ever going to believe that this bastard goes around swinging a huge ass sword slicing and dicing monsters in the public streets of Karakura? Hell even Rangiku's farfetched gossips made more sense than that.

"Ah, nice to meet you Kurosaki-kun, I'm Kuchiki Rukia," and with that said she clasped her tiny hand firmly into his larger one. A brief flicker of surprise passed through Ichigo's face at her fierce grip.

'_Is this damn shrimp on steroids?!'_

Before Rukia can register what was happening, a flurry of purple flower petals appeared before her eyes and she fell into unconsciousness, with her last image of glittering amber orbs. Renji, Rangiku, and Momo clambered upon their fallen friend with worry etched on their faces.

"R-Rukia!"

"Kuchiki-san!" He shouted in mock worry. Renji immediately moved to lift her to take her to the nurse until Ichigo stopped him.

"Wait, I feel that this is my fault, please let me take her to the nurse's office," Ichigo explained, for once telling the truth, but of course they don't know that. The pineapple head narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Aren't you new here? How do you know where it is?" Momo and Rangiku shifted between the two males in interest.

"Ah, but since it was my first day I arrived early to familiarize myself with the school. So I already know where it is," he lied casually, almost as if he were commenting on the weather. He was about to protest further until a man with long silver hair entered the room. Said man gave the quieting class a reassuring smile until his eyes fell on his tiniest student sprawled on the floor.

"What happened to Kuchiki?!" Bewilderment laced in his tone along with concern. Rangiku, the school "newscaster" as she was dubbed since elementary, immediately told him the situation.

"Oh my, that's quite serious," seeing that she needed medical attention quickly and the carrot top was closest to her he made an instant decision.

"Kurosaki, right? Would you care to take Miss Kuchiki to the infirmary?" He tried not to let his "worried" face slip into a large smirk.

"Ah, not at all Sensei, I was going to anyway," and with one flail scoop, he grabbed her like a sack of potatoes, making everybody gape at his terrible manners in carrying a lady. Ukitake stared wide eyed and shook his head. Maybe he was too trusting, believing that his new student was anything but a brute. Renji stood rooted to the spot, scowling viciously.

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Rukia stirred, her violet eyes opening slowly in a slight haze. 'What the hell happened?' she thought as she propped herself on her elbows.

"Morning Sunshine," a masculine deadpanned voice greeted. The midget clenched her tiny fists as the memories of the orange-headed bastard filled her mind. His arrogant smirk only wanted to make her throw her shoe at his face again, but she didn't have another pair in school so she simply opted to glower.

"What's so funny Casper?" Ichigo's smug look pursed into a small frown.

"Who's 'C-az-per?'" Rukia let out an insufferable sigh and plopped her head back on the ground.

"Forget it," before Ichigo could reply he fell backward in surprise when she rose again in a sitting position in great speed that she nearly bumped his nose.

"Now that I remember, what did you do to me to make me go pass out?!" The midget was too confused and pissed to even notice the faint pink hue gracing the berry's cheeks from their proximity. Scooting away inconspicuously he cleared his throat and puffed out his chest in pride.

"I told you, I'm talented in kido, and that technique renders my opponents to lose consciousness, pretty convenient neh?" Rukia scoffed and crossed her arms in indignation, closing her eyes in disgust.

"Che, looks like those 'techniques' are used during a rape rather than a fight," Ichigo's face flamed and nostrils flared, _what a shameful woman! Speaking of such vile topics!_

"SHUT UP! I would never do that y-you pervert!"Rukia's right eye opened and was surprised to see his red face clashing horribly with his hair; in fact it actually resembled her boyfriend's hair color. A malicious grin made its way on her lips, making her look like the Cheshire Cat.

"Oh? Why so flustered? You're acting like such a virgin." She couldn't contain the small chuckle as his eyes widened considerably and the veins on his neck became more visible.

"A-am not!" He gripped his fists tightly when the Shrimp went out in a full blown laugh. How the hell did it come to this anyway? One minute she was basking in his awesome Shinigami skills and the next she's questioning his love life, or lack thereof. It took all of his self control not to unleash a Tetsuga Tenshou on her puny ass. After she calmed down she wiped the tears off the corners of her eyes and targeted her gaze back to him.

"Are you done now she-demon?" he muttered, still sporting red cheeks and a tiny pout. She threw him a defiant stare.

"Anyway, the reason I brought you up here is because I have something to tell you,"

"Well duh, not like I'll be here for the Queen of England," the carrot-top growled at her sarcastic comments and kicked a tiny pebble toward her, he was happy to see that it landed in her flapping mouth. Coughing haphazardly Rukia finally managed to spit the tiny rock out.

"Are you trying to kill me Jackass?!"

'_I wouldn't mind if I did,'_ he thought sadistically.

"Are you willing to listen now?" She harrumphed and pinned her violet orbs to his amber ones.

"Good girl," he mocked and petted her raven locks as if she were a dog, and quickly moved his hand out of the way before she brought her sharp teeth to bite his hand off. Childishly sticking his tongue out, he continued his lecture.

"As I was saying, I believe that the hollows—those monsters with masks—are after you because of your unnaturally high raietsu," He rolled his eyes when she tossed him a baffled expression.

"In other words, your Spiritual Pressure, which is why you can see ghosts,"

"Is that why it wanted to eat me?"

"Ah, and because of that I have a proposition," all of a sudden she felt real uneasy from his following announcement. Ichigo turned on his heal to face her and brought his palm toward her as if she were a prize he was showcasing.

"Since I'm a Shinigami, and my sole purpose is to destroy hollows, I will be following you around everywhere you go to make sure your stupid face doesn't get chomped off," He was a little unnerved when he didn't hear a peep from the spitfire midget. He stared at her for some reaction and finally found one, her left eye.

Twitch.

Twitch.

"Geez Rukia, you really need to get that checked."

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To Be Continued….pfffft

A/N: -sigh- Honestly I'm losing my muse to write, mostly because of my stupid English class. I have to write 3-5 essays a week and it's to the point that I don't want to write anymore. But don't fret kiddos, Ichiruki is an exception. XD Oh ho ho well Please review and tell me what you think! :D

And Happy Early Halloween!! :)


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